“

atthetime,draohadn’tnotiedhowmuhtimeandenergygointonotbeingokay,whereheputsallhisenergyintoragingagainstmonstersthatonlyexistedinhisheadandpushingpastroadbloksthatwereonlyinhiswaybeausehehadbeentheopehimthere.forthepasttwoyears,rightfromthemomenthisfatherwassenttojail,allhehadbeenthinkingaboutwasputtingthepieesofhislifebaktogether,thinkingonlyofwhathehadtodoinordertogethimselftothepointwhereheouldlookinthemirrorandfeellikethepersonstaringbakathimatuallyseemedliketheyhadturnedoutalright.

drao

asawhole,thepeoplewhowentthroughthewarhadspentalotoftimetogethertryingtoreahthepointwheredraoisurrentlyat.theonlythingwas,nooneeverthoughttotellhimhowharditwouldbe,walkingthroughlifelikeyouneedsomeone’spermissiontobehealthyandwholeagain,alwayswaitingforthemomentwherethegroundmightbepulledoutfromunderyourfeet.

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it’sastrangething,beomingokayagain.

(it’slike,thereweretheseholes,inhisheartandhismindandhisbody,anddraohadspentthesepastmonthsgivingeverythinghehadintofillingthembakup,andherehewas,withallhismetaphorialpotholespathedoverwithbrandnewement.inhisheadheknowsitisagoodthing,butitisalsoastrangething,tohaveallthistime,tokeepexpetingtofallbakintooldpatternsandbadhabits,tohavetokeepremindinghimselfitwasokaytobeokay.)

sheadtellinghimthathoyisthebestoption.thatommuniationiskeyinhealthyretionships,andmaybetheyshouldsitdownsoharryantalkabouthisfeelings.itsoundsabitlikehermione.butthere’salsoavoiethatsoundsabitlikeseamus,ofallpeople,ehoingasefromtheirsixthyear,sayingthatnowwasnotthetimetoworryaboutstupidthingslikethat.“everything’sperfet.”

chapter35